Sunday, December 24

Wrapping Up the Year: 2017

I started 2017 with great hope and optimism. There's something about the New Year that brings such refreshing positivity. It's like all the mistakes from last year are in the past and it's a chance to begin again for the next year. Like a new slate. My plans, or resolutions as they were, included " trying to be a better person, a better friend and a better blogger", and I 100% failed on each of those. Yep. You may think I'm being a melodramatic and maybe I am but looking back on the year now, I see it from a different perspective. 2017 was a huge year of change for me with many times that weren't particularly nice. But I think these experiences help shape me as a person and make me appreciate the good times a hell of a lot more. And even though 2017 has been a mostly terrible year it also holds some of my best memories.

JANUARY
Within the first month of the year I got my first tattoo! It was very exciting because it's something I've always wanted to do but never really had the guts to do it. You see, I am petrified of needles. I hate them and anything hospital related. I go weak at the knees. However a tattoo needle is quite different and doesn't stab any veins ( *wince* ) instead it's just this horrible uncomfortableness and long pain that sometimes can get really intense. The tattoo I got was my own design in the shape of an arrow and encompassed the Time Turner from Harry Potter, some morse code and a floral design. I have it on my outer thigh and it points down my leg as if to say "one step at a time" or "a step in the right direction" or "time doesn't turn back, gotta keep going". It means all those cheesy things and much more to me and I absolutely love it! I can't wait to get my next tattoo!!

FEBRUARY
I was busy with exams and a team project. We had to make a virtual monopoly board game. This turned out to be a lot of fun because I always thought I hated teamwork but in fact when you work with the right people it can be easy peasy lemon squeeze. February was a memorable time because an amazing woman I have looked up to for years, who inspired me to blog and continue the things I love, who I consider a role model, followed me on twitter and read my blog post. Her name, ladies and gentleman, is Scarlett Curtis and you should all go follow her on twitter, instagram and see the amazing work she is doing, in particular the Free Periods protest she has been a catalyst for!

MARCH
My work placement began in March and this meant moving out of home for six months. I've only previously lived in student accommodation but this time I had real adult housemates who turned out to be so lovely. Actually one of them, Margaret, I was totally in awe of because she was just so cool and was everything I wanted to be in life. She read books, liked cats, had awesome tattoos, had great opinions on feminism and basically life, and was studying a fascinating masters and gave great advice. We bonded over a mutual love of Louise O'Neill. I also made new friends with other Interns at work. I'm glad to say that I am still close with a group of them and they made my time at work so much more enjoyable.

APRIL
I was taken ill in April and had to have keyhole surgery to remove my gallbladder. It wasn't a very dangerous operation but it was pretty scary and I was in a lot of pain. I actually had been having symptoms for almost a year until it became so unbearable that I had no choice but to go to the A&E. Lesson learned, don't ignore the signs.

MAY
This was a month of recovery for me. I binge watched The Crown ( it's so good! ), 13 reasons why ( it was horrifying but brilliant ) and started Gilmore Girls ( seen every episode, it is amazing! ), and saw a whole bunch of movies on Netflix. I think all these shows fried my brain , I became obsessed with these non real things and that is just not healthy!

JUNE
I turned 21 and my family threw me a lovely birthday party. They even got me a Harry Potter cake!!! <3 That was the best thing that happened that month then unfortunately I had a pretty big fight with my best friend. It had been brewing passively for about a year and there were things that we both needed to say to each other. Although I probably shouldn't have thrown a can of drink at her, and I am sorry for that but I'm glad we got everything out because I missed my friend and I hate being angry. I also went through a break up and to be honest I feel like I'm still going through it. It was horrible, I had to take some time off work and stayed with my friends until I had no choice but to face real life.

JULY
I tried to keep as busy as possible to stop me from falling apart. I went to London, Sligo, and Spain. I love travelling and it was amazing to visit the Warner Bros. Studios in London and see Phantom of the Opera.

AUGUST
I finished up my work placement and moved back home. It was sad saying goodbye to everyone but I was also happy to move home and get to see my cat everyday. My friends and I took a trip to Edinburgh to the Fringe Festival. Edinburgh is an incredible place and very Harry-Potter-esque so no wonder I liked it so much!

SEPTEMBER
This was the start of my final year at college. Time passes so quickly, it's strange to think I'm an adult now with responsibilities and what not. In just another few months I'll have a degree and a full time job. September also brought a terrible sadness as a classmate in college passed away. People die all the time but when it's a person your own age and you see the pain in the faces of his closest friends, it really is a huge shock and kind of throws you off balance. You wonder about your own mortality and how fickle life can be.

OCTOBER
I began to truly appreciate my best friends. Sometimes you take for granted what's always been there but when times get hard you see who is there and who runs away. I have the greatest friends in the world and they mean the world to me. Unfortunately, not everyone can be as amazing as they are and during October I was made to feel belittled by someone. They didn't do it intentionally and probably didn't realise what some stupid words can do. It initially knocked my confidence but there wasn't that much to begin with anyway. I think I was most angry that I let someone make me feel bad. I should have listened to Eleanor Roosevelt, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent".

NOVEMBER
Thanks to said person in October, I finally decided it was time I appreciate my own self and understand my worth. I listened to a lot of crappy motivational songs and followed stupid instagram quotes accounts. It took time, and I guess it still is taking time, but I am lot happier in myself and feel like I am enough. I didn't realise how low my self esteem had been before. I don't always have confidence, it fluctuates, but when I do it is honestly a great feeling and I realise now how important it is to love yourself.

DECEMBER
In the midst of exams and the stress of studying there was another horrifying death in my class. A girl, a friend, was knocked down and killed. To be honest, it still hasn't hit me. This was even more of a shock. I think because it can happen to anyone at any time, it is so frightening. I knew her a lot better than the late Greg but I wasn't in her close group of friends. This year has been really difficult for everyone in my class, and I hope 2018 won't bring any more similar circumstances. My sister also spent time in Hospital just before Christmas to have double jaw surgery. This was hard to watch her be in so much pain and to not be able to help. She's doing a lot better now, thank god.

I want to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! In the wise words of Eleanor Roosevelt - "The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams."

Always, M

8 comments:

  1. Crazy to think the monopoly project was this year! What a terrible game. Anyway, keep rockin' Marian. Merry Christmas! :D

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    1. I know, right! It seems like years ago, haven't played monopoly since XD
      Thanks Thomas!! A happy new year to you ^_^
      ( and since when do you read my blog...!? )

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  2. I'm glad you had a nice time in different countries.

    And it's good that you made it through the good and bad.

    I hope you have a productive new year!

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    1. Thank you Grace!
      A Happy New Year to you, I hope 2018 brings you much smiles ^_^

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  3. wow, you had lived a lot of shocking things, but I'm proud you had been strong to face everything! I'm happy because you also had good things and you had learned a lot!
    Wish 2018 would be a better year for you!

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    1. Thanks Cilia! It's all part of life.
      And I wish you a happy and prosperous New Year <3

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  4. Did I not comment on this before? Tha heck is wrong with me, my Mac is glitching so much I swear.

    Anyways, oh mi goshhhh your tattoo seems awesome, how come I haven't seen it? I love tats with lots of meaning behind, and yours sounds like exactly that. I'd love to get my own tattoo, but I change my mind so often that I think I'd find it hard to stick to one idea for more than one week.

    It sucks that you had to get your gallbladder out, I hate hospitals and yet am in them all the time, but having procedures sounds horrible. Having both a breakup and a massive fall out with your friend sounds awful, it took me well over half a year to get over my last breakup and so I've decided to never get into a relationship ever again (let's see how long that lasts).

    It's super scary to think that in a couple years I'll be in the same place as you, with real life adult responsibilities and jobs and stuff, and that is literally terrifying. It's also so sad that they died, it's the worst thing when someone your age dies as it's just such a shock. When someone over the age of 70 dies people are just like okay that happened, but when they're young it's just a massive shock.

    It's good that your sister is doing better, and it seems like you as a whole are doing better than at a bunch of times throughout the year. Here's to a 2018 filled with adventures and fun and love!

    Amy;
    Little Moon Elephant

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    1. Ah no worries ^_^ it's great to hear from you!

      Thank you! I guess I haven't posted a picture of it on any social media... I'm not sure why. It's very personal but maybe I might do a post about it on here. I know the feeling, I wanted to get one for ages but couldn't find something I wanted for longer than a few weeks. And ya know, you kinda need to like it forever. Let me know when you do finally get one! What are some of your latest ideas?

      Hospitals are the worst. But breakups definitely trump the list of horribleness. I feel ya - I'm either terrified of being alone for the rest of my life or confident I never ever want another relationship. Right now, I'm definitely in the latter zone. XD

      You're making me feel old O.o can I just go to neverland and hang with the lost boys and never grow old?! The loss of someone is always a huge shock, but something I'm realising we'll never escape, it's just a part of life.

      Thank you Amy! I am going to make the most of 2018. Happy New Years. Cheers! ^_^ x

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